Man I wanna Be
by LadyScarlettO'Hara
Summary: I revised it and I really need reviews! It is about Severus discovering who he wants to be and what he wants out of life.


**A/N: it is inspired by the Chris Young song "The Man I wanna be." If you haven't heard it you should really look it up, it will change your life.**

**DISCLAIMER: The characters are not mine, they belong to JKR except Vivian, I take full credit for her flat character and lack of development and the song is Chris Young's. Please don't flame me! I'm very inexperienced! You have been warned: and without further ado:**

What kind of man do I wanna be?

He had always been the snarky, greasy, evil git who taught potions at Hogwarts, and later, when he noticed his attraction to the twenty two year old woman teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts, he added old, disgusting pervert to the list. The only time he could escape and get her out of his head was in his lab, stirring and dicing and crushing. He loved brewing potions and for over half his life, brewing potions had allowed him to believe he was whole.

But he was not whole. He still had that God shaped vacuum in his heart and he always felt alone. But one day she did the unthinkable and invited him to church. And not just any church, a Baptist church! The idea was laughable, and yet…He accepted and accompanied her to the Easter service.

That day he was struck by how much he was missing and as the sun rose over the trees behind the church, Severus Snape, ex death eater and spy, murderer, liar, snarky git, broken man, accepted Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior. This was one master he truly desired to serve with all his heart, all his mind and all his strength.

She had cried when she saw him go up. Having only known him after the war, she never saw the constant worry, but the fact that he was broken and alone was painfully obvious. Vivian loved him, so she prayed and prayed and worked so hard to let him see Jesus through her…but that is a different story.

After he accepted Christ, he began to study the Bible and pray all the time. His powers increased, and he was memorizing scripture like his life depended on it, maybe because it did, but he was still snarky on most days and no one saw a difference. He had been "going steady" with Vivian with a few months when she left him.

"_I can not stay with you if you are unwilling to change. I love you, but until you can truly be a slave to Jesus, there cannot be an us."_

_She was gone before he could speak and he did the only thing he could think of. He fell to his knees and began to pray, "Heavenly Father, I know she is right and that I have been attempting to maintain control of my life, but today I choose to give it to you. It belongs to you anyway, so take it all and I'll step back while you use me to further your Kingdom. But Lord, I have just one request, please-" his voice began to break and, hard though it is to believe, tears rolled down his face, "help me became the Man I want to be! I want to be worthy of her, I want to do your will, I want to be good and strong, I want my actions to scream 'Jesus Christ rules my life and He wants me, he loves me!' Help me Lord to be the man you and Vivian need me to be. Show me, teach me and guide me. For it is in your powerful and amazing name I pray. Amen!"_

Vivian stood outside the door and said a brief prayer, "Thank you Lord for making him the man I need and the one I love. He is everything we both need and desire, He just doesn't know it yet."

1 year later

It was Easter and as they praised Jehovah in the morning light Severus dropped to one knee. Vivian gasped and felt the tears well up in her gray blue eyes.

"Vivian Scarlett O'Brian, I love you and here, before God and our family of believers, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

She could not speak past the lump in her throat, but she managed to nod and he stood swiftly for a man of thirty eight years. He slipped the emerald and diamond ring onto her finger and kissed her gently.

"I love you Severus Tobias Snape."

"And I you Vivian Scarlett O'Brian."

6 months after the proposal

"We are gathered together, before God and all these witnesses, to celebrate the union of Vivian O'Brian and Severus Snape. They have written their own vows."

"Vivian, I know I am not easy to be around, I am often cruel and sarcastic, but you see past it and Love me anyway, I am so blessed to have such a godly woman that I will never stop thanking God, for he has blessed so much I can hardly stand it," and he placed the ring on her finger. They had opted for simple gold bands with an inscription inside that read, "With Christ all things are possible."

"Severus, I thank God every day for bringing us together and I know that with Him as our foundation and Love as our cornerstone we will be happy. There will be hard times and times when we want to call it quits, but Jesus will carry us through and our love will be stronger than ever. I love you and promise to remain faithful as I stand by your side for all eternity."

The pastor spoke quietly, having never heard such beautiful vows before today, "I now pronounce you man and wife, you may kiss the bride." Severus happily complied and the pastor finished, I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Severus Snape."

The crowd cheered as they drove away in a stylish limousine.

2 years after the wedding

"Congratulations Mrs. Snape," The doctor frowned at the odd name, "you are pregnant."

She left the office and apparated home. Their anniversary was tonight and they were going out…

"We'll have the merlot, '95 if you have it." The waiter left, only to return too soon with the requested beverage. Severus poured his wife a glass and watched as she stared at it. She would not touch it and he began to panic. Only on the inside of course. "Love, what has you so upset?"

"It's nothing… I just don't feel like drinking tonight."

"Did you want something else?" He tried to gesture at the waiter, but Vivian laid a hand on his arm.

"It will be a while before I drink anything like that again…"

"Why?" He was scared now; she had gone to the doctor for a checkup today… "Viv, what is going on? Are you alright? Are you-?"

"Severus, I am not sick!" She said it forcefully and continued, "I got some news today… I'm not sure you'll like it… Severus, I-" she faltered.

"Whatever it is, I'm here for you. Love, please, just tell me."

"I'm pregnant Severus."

"YOU'RE WHAT?"

Luckily she had cast a silencing charm before she told him. "Pregnant. You are going to be a father."

"Wow." He saw her bite her lip nervously and realized he had not really conveyed his true feelings. He reached out and grasped her hand. "I am so happy right now I cannot find words to express myself. You are the most amazing woman…" As he spoke those words he sent up a little prayer, "God thanks so much for this and for Vivian and for everything. Please keep her safe and help us through this joyful, yet difficult time. Amen."

They kissed and left the restaurant.

7 months, 2 weeks, 3 days and 4 hours later

"She is so beautiful Vivian. Thank you so much."

"She's ours Sev. I can hardly believe it."

"Me either, but I'm sure God is rather pleased with all the thanks he's getting now that she has arrived."

She laughed, "I love you."

"I love you to sweet heart."

And they cuddled together to watch their newborn sleep.

"Good night Annalise Snape and may Jehovah bless you."

The End.

**A/N: I told myself I would not torture others with my writing, but the plot bunnies attacked me and refused to leave until Severus got a happy ending. I doubt this story was any good and I know you probably have better things to do but please, pretty please with multiple maraschino cherries on top of a midnight truffle blizzard, please leave me a review and help me improve my dreadful writing skills. Also, please visit my profile and R&R my other fic, The Power of Prayer. I love you all so much and thanks for your reviews on Power of Prayer. I love reviews on all my stories! **

**Love always,**

**M**


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